My husband has made us rich, but his tantrums are unbearable

We’ve got a dream house and go on fancy holidays – but to judge from his sudden rages, my other half is hardly enjoying it

When we got married, 20 years ago now, my husband was a fairly mild-mannered individual. Of course, he could get crotchety, but on the whole he would back down rather than risk a confrontation and grumble rather than kick off if things had not gone his way.
Back then he had a management role at a big catering firm – quite important, but on a salary rather than running the whole show. Then he was made redundant, and put the pay-off into starting a food delivery firm with a couple of friends. It’s done brilliantly – Covid helped – and he deserves a lot of credit for all the hard work he’s put into it.
We’re enjoying the rewards now. We have become much better off than we were before, have gone on lots of smart holidays and recently moved into the house of our dreams. However, enjoying is not quite the right word, though, because my husband doesn’t seem to be enjoying it at all.
Nothing is ever good enough. He complains in hotels, shouts in restaurants and has given everybody involved in the new house a terrible time over the tiniest things.
It has got to the point where I actually dread going out with him, because I know he is bound to make a scene for some reason or another. We’ll have the “wrong” table in a restaurant, our hotel room won’t have a sea view… and he’ll kick off in the biggest way, screaming and shouting until he gets his way, all while I pray for the ground to swallow me up and the embarrassment to be over.
He becomes someone completely different in these moments, not just shouting and going red in the face but actually stamping his foot like a toddler having a tantrum. I see people out of the corner of my eye looking horrified – and others giggling at the spectacle and thanking their lucky stars that they have nothing to do with us.
Our children are in their teens and are finding excuses not to spend time with us now – they wriggle out of special evenings and when we are on holiday they disappear as quickly as possible to avoid these scenes.
Of course, I’ve spoken to him about it, but he just says that he is trying to get the best for us and hates to think of people taking advantage of his good nature – although this good nature disappeared some time ago when it comes to dealing with Maitre d’s, hotel managers and interior decorators.
Perhaps the solution may be some kind of anger management course or therapy, but I fear for the therapist who fails to match his high standards or provide what my husband regards as “value for money”.
I should be fair and point out that he doesn’t shout at me or the children, and is still capable of fun and relaxation, but whenever we are out in public and paying for some kind of service: he is liable to go volcanic.
When I think about it, I can see that this all dates back to the time when his start-up business began to do well. On the one hand, he obviously has had a lot more pressure to deal with, but on the other hand I think he has started to feel that he is Mr Big and deserves to be treated accordingly.
It’s such a shame. I’m proud of what he has achieved and grateful for the benefits that his success has brought to the family. I just wish that he could understand how his tantrums are spoiling my enjoyment of it all.